I got way over-caffeinated today and started scribbling down haiku about digital marketing. Then I asked my team if they had ideas. The results were, um, fascinating. Here’s what happens when 30 marketers try to write poetry:
Employment
Poetry Degree
Find a real job? No way.
Start marketing gig
You demand volume
“Shower the web with content”
Print your resume
Good Days
Gave a client great news
Happiness abounds with them
I now bask in joy
Great data dashboards
Bring salty tears to my eyes
My heart’s cockles warm
Bad Days
You are a guru
Fine. Provide good advice or
I may throat punch you
Your site is so slow
Developer says too bad
I scream angrily
UX
Tried to browse your site
“Please enter your email first”
You must be insane
Restaurant website
No map, no menu, no hours
Photo of tables
Analytics
Data Studio
Needs combined data sources
To kill off Tableau
SEO
All the best content
Isn’t worth a hill of beans
If you noindex
Your gray footer links
Drive me up the wall because
They don’t fool Google
Content
If you can write fast
and without standards, don’t stop
Til it’s an e-book
I have one typo
Smarty pants find it. Twitter
corrections explode
Collections
Why you not pay me?
Look at your site. It went poof.
Now can you pay me?
Wistfully we gaze
Wondering why you decline
To pay this invoice
(wrote that in 2015)
Conclusion, and Futility
I just found out that
marketing haiku are not
new. My soul empties.
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